Alex Carrick’s Blog

Here are sixteen original and highly sophisticated road jokes.
(1) Why did all of the world’s leaders cross the road? The bridge? The Highway? To take credit for the infrastructure work.
(2) Why did Jack Bauer cross the road? He finished torturing all the terrorists on this side.
(3) Why did Gregory House cross the road? To avoid walking [...]

[Read more →]

As a special favor, Louise Traynor was escorted to a couple’s table in the trattoria’s alcove by the establishment’s executive chef and owner late into the luncheon sitting. The faux Italian décor was complemented by Dean Martin crooning in the background. A tiny fountain listlessly gurgled in the centre of the room. Other diners noted [...]

[Read more →]

Herb Green was frustrated beyond containment. His toxic mood might not have been impossible to deal with except that he had newly acquired a truly foul vocabulary. He started swearing like Regan in The Exorcist. Furthermore, he lacked the originality to be entertaining in his gross verbiage. No, he was disgusting to listen to. His [...]

[Read more →]

Pedro Martinez had entered the United States illegally. There was no denying that fact. He was part of a group of 20 individuals brought over in the false back of an 18-wheeler from Mexico in early spring two years ago. To pay for the privilege, he made a cash contribution to his wife’s distant cousin, [...]

[Read more →]

Little Jimmy Flotsam, aged 10 and living in Tampa, had never known Christmas. The current year was 2025 and in 2015 Santa Claus and his wife had wrapped things up at the North Pole and skipped town, so to speak. In a sadly mimicking blow, Jimmy’s father abandoned his family when his only child was [...]

[Read more →]

It’s a terror nearly as elemental as the fear of dying. It can bring strong men to their knees and turn the smartest of women into incoherent babblers. Maybe you already know where I’m headed. It’s public speaking and there’s nothing else quite like its scary prospect. Many people would rather go through a spinal [...]

[Read more →]

There are three nations that have survived the recession quite well, thank you very much, due to their raw material riches, – Australia, Brazil and Canada. It would seem to be a natural progression for these three countries to come together in a new economic bloc to be known as the ABC nations.
 
Canada and [...]

[Read more →]

In another romantic space, long long ago, I wrote the following lyrics to a song that can only be heard in my own head. Nevertheless, I think they make for entertaining reading, particularly at a time such as this, when the economy is in rough shape. Furthermore, I would suggest that these words could only [...]

[Read more →]

My nose knows and it is telling me that I need to write about Toronto’s garbage workers strike. We’re about to enter the fourth week. Negotiations between the mayor’s office and the union are getting overheated. Everyone is sweating over the details. The situation has become sticky. You see the problem? There is going to be a lingering [...]

[Read more →]

During a recession, some companies buck the trend. For example, shoe repair stores and the makers of Spam have seen sales soar. Macdonalds and Wal-Mart are experiencing an influx of customers. All the trouble that people are having coping means that the drug companies will probably do okay as well. In fact, more than just [...]

[Read more →]