Alex Carrick’s Blog

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Entries Tagged as 'Twisted'

Bullet Proof

November 5th, 2011 · 3 Comments · American Humor, British Comedy, British Humour, Canada Humor, Celebrities, Charming, Funny Gotcha, Human Nature, Lifestyle, Oddball, Offbeat, Politicians, Sardonic, Screwball, Slice of Life, Storytelling, Surprise Twists, Twisted, U.S. Social Commentary, Whimsy, Witty, Zany

An actor, a writer, a politician and a rich dude were sitting on the back portico of the latter’s mansion. They quaffed a non-alcoholic concoction while looking out over an enormous aqua-blue swimming pool and a garden vista that stretched a quarter of a mile before being bracketed by a security-enhanced fence and towering evergreens. […]

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Anheuser-Busch the Budgie (Suggestions to Lower Washington’s Debt)

July 21st, 2011 · 3 Comments · Advertising, American Humor, Armed Forces Lifestyle, British Humour, Canada Humor, Corruption, Cute, Difficult Decisions, Economics, Funny Corruption, Funny Economy, Funny Government, Funny Politics, Funny Rant, Funny Scandal, Funny Washington, General Humor, General Interest, Human Nature, Irony, Jokes, Military Life, Oddball, Offbeat, Outrageous, Political Humor, Politicians, Puns, Rant, Sardonic, Satire, Scandal, Screwball, Silly, Twisted, U.S. Social Commentary, Vice, Whimsy, Witty, Zany

Washington has a huge debt problem and the Democrats, Republicans and Tea Party can’t agree on which comes first, increase taxes or lower spending. Here are some innovative answers I’ve come up with, combining both approaches and some “outside the box” ideas, to break the impasse. (1) Privatize the issuing of birth certificates to Donald […]

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May We Have Some Privacy Please?

June 2nd, 2011 · 4 Comments · Advertising, American Humor, Bad Taste, British Comedy, British Humour, Canada Humor, Celebrities, Charming, Children and Pets, Cute, Family, Family Humor, Feel Good, Funny Family, Funny History, Funny Royalty, General Humor, General Interest, Heartwarming, Human Nature, Imagery, Jokes, Lifestyle, Not As It Seems, Oddball, Offbeat, Outrageous, Parable, Political Humor, Puns, Sardonic, Satire, School Days, Screwball, Slice of Life, Surprise Twists, Tasteless, Twisted, Uplifting, Whimsy, Witty, Zany

Milton Spofford III’s colleagues in the press were bitterly jealous. Fresh out of journalism school, “Spiffy” was as nervous as he could ever imagine being. He’d won the lottery to conduct an exclusive interview with the Queen at a time when Her Highness and family were experiencing a resurgence of interest in Great Britain and […]

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One Fib Too Far

May 14th, 2011 · 6 Comments · Allegory or Fairy Tale, American Humor, Anthropomorphic, British Comedy, British Humour, Canada Humor, Charming, Children and Pets, Cute, Fairy Tale, Family, Family Humor, Funny Absurd, Funny Animal, Funny Dialogue Story, Funny Dog, Funny Family, Funny Gotcha, Funny Outrageous, Funny Toronto, Human Nature, Jokes, Lifestyle, Not As It Seems, Oddball, Offbeat, Outrageous, Parable, Puns, Sardonic, Screwball, Slice of Life, Sports and Recreation, Storytelling, Surprise Twists, Twisted, Whimsy, Witty

This story is based on a popular joke which I believe has the wrong punch line, that a talking dog turns out to be a big liar. If one starts with the conclusion, then what might the background be? Also, please be sure to read the supplementary section in italics at the end of this tale. […]

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A Dozen Answers to One Osama Bin Laden Mystery

May 7th, 2011 · 3 Comments · American Humor, Armed Forces Lifestyle, Bad Taste, Canada Humor, Celebrities, Family, Funny Horror, General Humor, General Interest, Hard Life Choices, Human Nature, Jokes, Lifestyle, Monster, Oddball, Offbeat, Outrageous, Political Humor, Sardonic, Screwball, Slice of Life, Surprise Twists, Tasteless, Twisted, U.S. Social Commentary, Whimsy, Witty

The following attempts to provide an answer to one major mystery attached to the most recent behavior of Osama Bin Laden. By the way, I realize some people may wonder about the “taste” of this piece. That’s why I’m issuing a “gallows humor” alert up-front.  So why did Osama choose to keep his family living in plain sight […]

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The Melancholy Fog Harvester

April 30th, 2011 · 5 Comments · Allegory or Fairy Tale, American Humor, Art History, Canada Humor, Career Choices, Charming, Clash of the Sexes, Cute, Dreams, Drugs, Fairy Tale, Fantasy, Feel Good, General Humor, General Interest, Human Nature, Jokes, Lifestyle, Lyrical, Magic Realism, Mood, Not As It Seems, Oddball, Parable, Poetry, Prose Poetry, Puns, Romance, Science Fiction, Storytelling, Supernatural, Surprise Twists, Twisted, Uplifting, Whimsy, Witty

It was late of an evening and I’d run out of milk and snacks. Besides, I wanted some fresh air. That’s how it came about I was on my way to the local Daisy Mart before it closed at ten p.m. You don’t get fog in the city much anymore. Too much traffic. There’s an […]

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Undeterred She Forged Ahead

April 9th, 2011 · 2 Comments · Allegory or Fairy Tale, American Humor, British Comedy, British Humour, Canada Humor, Celebrities, Clash of the Sexes, Crossed Wires, Cute, Economic Humor, Fairy Tale, Family, Family Humor, Fantasy, Funny Horror, Human Nature, Jokes, Lifestyle, Not As It Seems, Outrageous, Parable, Puns, Romance, Sardonic, Satire, Science Fiction, Sexual Innuendo, Supernatural, Surprise Twists, Twisted, U.S. Social Commentary, Whimsy, Witty

Time: the present. Location: the upstairs master bedroom of a fabulous mansion on Long Island’s Gold Coast. Greta, the maid, knocked on the open door to give advance warning and walked thirty feet to the nightstand. She deposited the breakfast tray and acknowledged with a slight bow the thank you from the Mrs. on the […]

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Marshall of Cahoots

April 2nd, 2011 · Comments Off on Marshall of Cahoots · Allegory or Fairy Tale, American Humor, British Comedy, British Humour, Canada Humor, Children and Pets, Construction Humor, Cop Humor, Corruption, Cute, Dreams, Economic Humor, Fairy Tale, Family Humor, Fantasy, Funny Corruption, Funny Dialogue Story, Funny Horror, Funny Monologue, Funny Parable, Funny Psychology, Human Nature, Lifestyle, Not As It Seems, Outrageous, Parable, Political Humor, Puns, Sardonic, Satire, Slice of Life, Storytelling, Surprise Twists, Twisted, U.S. Social Commentary, Whimsy, Witty

The following is essentially a monologue as two men face each other, standing on the sidewalk of a small town’s Main Street in Midwest America. The date is the present, on a beautiful spring morning, a time of year when some things need nipping in the bud. The burly one, dressed in a dun-colored uniform […]

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Gravity’s Absence

March 26th, 2011 · Comments Off on Gravity’s Absence · Academia, Academics, Clash of the Sexes, Crossed Wires, Drama, Family, Family Tragedy, Human Nature, Infidelity, Lifestyle, Lyrical, Murder, Not As It Seems, Parable, Poem, Poetry, Prose Poetry, Romance, School Days, Seduction, Sexual Innuendo, Slice of Life, Storytelling, Twisted

Mille Feuille hated and loved the Mix Master. Both were stars in their tiny firmament. They were on the faculty of the English Department at a smallish but well-respected university in Peterborough, Ontario. The academic life in such a small community was a tiny whirlwind of activity that mimicked the larger vortex in nearby Toronto […]

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The Ethical Auctioneer

November 18th, 2010 · 2 Comments · American Humor, Art History, British Comedy, British Humour, Canada Humor, Career Choices, Charming, Cute, Family Humor, Feel Good, Human Nature, Jokes, Lifestyle, Lyrical, Not As It Seems, Oddball, Offbeat, Poem, Poetry, Screwball, Slice of Life, Surprise Twists, Twisted, Whimsy, Witty

Donna and I have attended an auction or two. It’s a fascinating experience, filled with tradition and a lively cast of characters. Not least among the latter is the auctioneer. He’s charged with keeping things going and, of course, making as much money as possible for sellers and the “house”. On that score and for […]

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