Alex Carrick’s Blog

Toronto City Council recently banned the use of plastic bags beginning January 1, 2013. It’s a tremendous source of comfort to me that our elected officials are always looking out for what’s in our best interests, whether we know it or not.   My family of five will no longer be able to tote home [...]

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There are certain tell-tale signs that let you know if and when you’ve become a hypochondriac. The following is a brief list. There are many more indicators, but logging them would take an effort that might better go towards healing issues. 1)      You bought your first coffin when you were aged 20. 2)      You’re afraid [...]

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With the exception of a section towards the end of this story, all of the events recorded below occurred in one special year. The season and the locales are noted in italics. ** Early spring, Barrie, Ontario, Canada: The first officer on the scene struggled to come up with a reaction. He thought it wasn’t [...]

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“His brain was trashed,” she said. “Excuse me?” was his response. “I don’t know how it happened, but his brain was trashed. You know, like a hotel room after a rock star’s attack of indigestion,” said Corina. “Wow! Any idea how it happened?” asked Chief Inspector Beige. “I’m pretty sure I answered that question.” Corina [...]

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XaniaXYM-529’s attention was glued to one of thousands of monitors hooked up to the enormous rumbling machine that was focused on the planet a considerable distance away. He was luxuriating onboard his species’ most modern space station. From earth, the craft was hidden in the flotsam that made up Saturn’s ring. The giant device at [...]

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“Dinosaur Spots Comet in Sky.” “That’s the headline I’m going with,” said Dilly the crocodile to Tony the T-Rex, as they faced each other across the entranceway to the latter’s luxurious cave. It was the most modern of eras in an alternative universe containing the 88th iteration of “standard” earth where the animals had evolved [...]

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Washington has a huge debt problem and the Democrats, Republicans and Tea Party can’t agree on which comes first, increase taxes or lower spending. Here are some innovative answers I’ve come up with, combining both approaches and some “outside the box” ideas, to break the impasse. (1) Privatize the issuing of birth certificates to Donald [...]

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Charley Van Dearon was an outdoorsy type who liked fishing, hunting and even scrapping when the occasion warranted. He was rugged of demeanor, with an excess of vigor to go along with a fun-loving nature. Still, he was no one-dimensional cartoon. He had a sensitive and romantic side with deeper thoughts than many of his [...]

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Milton Spofford III’s colleagues in the press were bitterly jealous. Fresh out of journalism school, “Spiffy” was as nervous as he could ever imagine being. He’d won the lottery to conduct an exclusive interview with the Queen at a time when Her Highness and family were experiencing a resurgence of interest in Great Britain and [...]

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This story is based on a popular joke which I believe has the wrong punch line, that a talking dog turns out to be a big liar. If one starts with the conclusion, then what might the background be? Also, please be sure to read the supplementary section in italics at the end of this tale. [...]

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