Alex Carrick’s Blog

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Entries Tagged as 'Jokes'

Side-by-side Story-telling Song Titles

September 3rd, 2010 · No Comments · American Humor, Canada Humor, Celebrities, Entertainment, General Humor, General Interest, Jokes, Lifestyle, Musical humor, Puns, Romance, Satire, Sexual Innuendo, Song Lyrics, Surprise Twists, human nature

I’ve come up with a parlour game that’s the mental equivalent of twiddling one’s thumbs. Think of an imaginary statement, proposition or news item that uses at least two popular song titles. Then consider what the reaction of an impartial observer might be.
Is this confusing? Read a few examples and you’ll quickly catch the drift.
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(1) REACTION: [...]

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Words of Wisdom from Ari Noshuns

July 24th, 2010 · 4 Comments · American Humor, Canada Humor, Entertainment, Family Humor, General Humor, General Interest, Jokes, Lifestyle, Puns, Satire, Sexual Innuendo, Surprise Twists, human nature

Here’s something I’ve never shared before. I try to live according to the words of wisdom from my own personal adviser and alter ego, Ari Noshuns. Emulating his spirit of generosity, the following are passed on to you as a means to achieving deeper enlightenment.
(1) A man is only good if there is a strong [...]

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For Daisy, Life is a Stretch

July 17th, 2010 · 2 Comments · American Humor, Canada Humor, Children and Pets, Family Humor, Funny Dog Stories, General Humor, General Interest, Jokes, Lifestyle

The Carrick family thinks it has the nicest pet dog in the world, a beautiful golden retriever named Daisy. But even we know there are times when Daisy seems a little lazy. A dozen examples follow.
(1) She once had a race with the oak tree in our back yard. The oak won, the dandelions placed [...]

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Proper Young Ladies Should Never…

July 14th, 2010 · 6 Comments · Allegory or Fairy Tale, Entertainment, Family Humor, General Humor, General Interest, Jokes, Lifestyle, Monster, Movies, Not As It Seems, Puns, Romance, Satire, Science Fiction, Sexual Innuendo, Supernatural, Surprise Twists, human nature

The following are a dozen good reasons a proper young lady should never date a vampire.
(1) There’s not much point to installing a mirror over your bed.
(2) Your blood pudding will never measure up to his mother’s.
(3) When you tell your BFFs about his mother, they’re disappointed you think she’s an old bat.
(4) Getting him [...]

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“Two Scoops” Is Just Right – Now Available!

July 9th, 2010 · No Comments · Allegory or Fairy Tale, Canada Humor, Family Humor, General Humor, General Interest, Jokes, Lifestyle, Romance

A collection of the stories appearing on this blog site.

A perfect read for when you want to relax and a spot-on gift for almost any occasion. To order within the United States and in most other countries, please click here (Amazon.com) or see the right-hand column link for ”Two Scoops” Is Just Right. Canadian readers should press this button (Amazon.ca) [...]

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How Hot is Toronto?

July 8th, 2010 · 4 Comments · Canada Humor, Children and Pets, Cop Humor, Family Humor, Funny Dog Stories, General Humor, General Interest, Jokes, Lifestyle, Political Humor, Politicians, Satire, human nature

How hot and humid is Toronto this summer? It’s so hot that…
(1) Out-0n-bail G20 protesters have declared a moratorium on burning cop cars.
(2) Casual Friday has become sponge bath Friday;
(3) All of the city’s mayoral candidates want to tax and license running through sprinklers.
(4) The pavement on Yonge Street is melting faster than the ice surface at [...]

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Donna and I Go Hollywood

July 4th, 2010 · 29 Comments · American Humor, Canada Humor, Drama, Entertainment, Family Humor, General Humor, General Interest, Jokes, Lifestyle, Movies, Puns, Romance, Satire, Sexual Innuendo, Surprise Twists, Video script, human nature

Since video book trailers are now all the rage, the following is the script for the first foray into the field by Donna and myself. This is a little self-serving, no doubt about it, plus there is some catharsis.
The camera starts rolling.
ALEX: Hi everyone, my name is Alex Carrick and I’m here to tell you about [...]

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At the Intersection of Silly and Sublime

June 2nd, 2010 · 4 Comments · American Humor, Canada Humor, Celebrities, Construction Humor, Economic Humor, Family Humor, General Humor, General Interest, Ghost Story, Jokes, Lifestyle, Monster, Political Humor, Politicians, Puns, Satire, Supernatural

Here are sixteen original and highly sophisticated road jokes.
(1) Why did all of the world’s leaders cross the road? The bridge? The Highway? To take credit for the infrastructure work.
(2) Why did Jack Bauer cross the road? He finished torturing all the terrorists on this side.
(3) Why did Gregory House cross the road? To avoid walking [...]

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Forever Running Late

May 1st, 2010 · 6 Comments · Allegory or Fairy Tale, Family Humor, General Humor, General Interest, History, Jokes, Lifestyle, Not As It Seems, Science Fiction, Surprise Twists, Technology Advances, human nature

For all her flustered outward appearance, Jilal was a deep thinker. Single, aged 32, a brunette well-above average in appearance and living in an eco-friendly home halfway between the citizens on ground level and those perched high above, she was having a typical day off.
Mid-morning and her heart was already pounding. Too much to do. [...]

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That Would Be Naïve of Me

April 24th, 2010 · 5 Comments · American Humor, Cop Humor, Economic Humor, Economics, General Humor, General Interest, Jokes, Lifestyle, Mathematics, Not As It Seems, Political Humor, Politicians, Surprise Twists, Technology Advances, U.S. Social Commentary

As a special favor, Louise Traynor was escorted to a couple’s table in the trattoria’s alcove by the establishment’s executive chef and owner late into the luncheon sitting. The faux Italian décor was complemented by Dean Martin crooning in the background. A tiny fountain listlessly gurgled in the centre of the room. Other diners noted [...]

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