Alex Carrick’s Blog

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Entries Tagged as 'Jokes'

Pretty Sure What Done Him In

November 26th, 2011 · 2 Comments · Academics, Allegory or Fairy Tale, American Humor, British Comedy, British Humour, Canada Humor, Cop Humor, Cute, Disturbing, Fairy Tale, Family Tragedy, Fantasy, Funny Horror, Funny Murder, Funny Noir, General Humor, Horror, Human Nature, Imagery, Jokes, Lifestyle, Literary, Mood, Murder, Murder Mystery, Mystery, Noir, Not As It Seems, Oddball, Offbeat, Outrageous, Parable, Police Lifestyle, Sardonic, Satire, Scary, Screwball, Slice of Life, Supernatural, Surprise Twists, Twisted, Whimsy, Witty, Zany

“His brain was trashed,” she said. “Excuse me?” was his response. “I don’t know how it happened, but his brain was trashed. You know, like a hotel room after a rock star’s attack of indigestion,” said Corina. “Wow! Any idea how it happened?” asked Chief Inspector Beige. “I’m pretty sure I answered that question.” Corina […]

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The Grief Machine

November 12th, 2011 · 3 Comments · Allegory or Fairy Tale, American Humor, British Comedy, British Humour, Canada Humor, Charming, Children and Pets, Clash of the Sexes, Cop Humor, Cute, Fairy Tale, Family Humor, Fantasy, Feel Good, Funny Dog, Funny Family, Funny Science Fiction, Funny Technology, Funny Workplace, General Humor, General Interest, Human Nature, Imagery, Irony, Jokes, Lifestyle, Not As It Seems, Oddball, Offbeat, Outrageous, Parable, Religious allegory, Romance, Sardonic, Satire, Science Fiction, Screwball, Seduction, Slice of Life, Surprise Twists, Twisted, Whimsy, Witty, Workplace, Zany

XaniaXYM-529’s attention was glued to one of thousands of monitors hooked up to the enormous rumbling machine that was focused on the planet a considerable distance away. He was luxuriating onboard his species’ most modern space station. From earth, the craft was hidden in the flotsam that made up Saturn’s ring. The giant device at […]

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Ornament

August 11th, 2011 · 11 Comments · Afterlife, Allegory or Fairy Tale, American Humor, British Comedy, British Humour, Canada Humor, Charming, Children and Pets, Christmas, Cottage Life, Cute, Fairy Tale, Family, Family Humor, Fantasy, Feel Good, Funny Family, Funny Religious, Hard Life Choices, Heartwarming, Human Nature, Imagery, Jokes, Lifestyle, Lyrical, Mood, Not As It Seems, Oddball, Offbeat, Parable, Religion, Religious allegory, Screwball, Slice of Life, Storytelling, Surprise Twists, Sweet, Theology, Uplifting, Whimsy, Witty, Zany

There were several reasons why Giles’ mood was tanking. First, there was the change in seasons. Summer was only a degree or two away from turning into fall. Giles loved the summer. He lived in a northern clime and the winters were long and harsh. The cold weather, when he’d been a child, had encompassed […]

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Anheuser-Busch the Budgie (Suggestions to Lower Washington’s Debt)

July 21st, 2011 · 3 Comments · Advertising, American Humor, Armed Forces Lifestyle, British Humour, Canada Humor, Corruption, Cute, Difficult Decisions, Economics, Funny Corruption, Funny Economy, Funny Government, Funny Politics, Funny Rant, Funny Scandal, Funny Washington, General Humor, General Interest, Human Nature, Irony, Jokes, Military Life, Oddball, Offbeat, Outrageous, Political Humor, Politicians, Puns, Rant, Sardonic, Satire, Scandal, Screwball, Silly, Twisted, U.S. Social Commentary, Vice, Whimsy, Witty, Zany

Washington has a huge debt problem and the Democrats, Republicans and Tea Party can’t agree on which comes first, increase taxes or lower spending. Here are some innovative answers I’ve come up with, combining both approaches and some “outside the box” ideas, to break the impasse. (1) Privatize the issuing of birth certificates to Donald […]

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Chuck the Wagon Driver and His Reluctant Bride

June 25th, 2011 · Comments Off on Chuck the Wagon Driver and His Reluctant Bride · American Humor, British Humour, Canada Humor, Career Choices, Charming, Clash of the Sexes, Cute, Family Humor, Feel Good, Funny Character Study, Funny Cowboy, Funny Dating, Funny Family, Funny Romance, Funny True Love, Funny Writing Story, Heartwarming, Human Nature, Jokes, Lifestyle, Oddball, Offbeat, Outrageous, Romance, Sardonic, Screwball, Seduction, Sexual Innuendo, Silly, Slice of Life, Surprise Twists, Sweet, Wedding, Whimsy, Witty, Zany

Charley Van Dearon was an outdoorsy type who liked fishing, hunting and even scrapping when the occasion warranted. He was rugged of demeanor, with an excess of vigor to go along with a fun-loving nature. Still, he was no one-dimensional cartoon. He had a sensitive and romantic side with deeper thoughts than many of his […]

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May We Have Some Privacy Please?

June 2nd, 2011 · 4 Comments · Advertising, American Humor, Bad Taste, British Comedy, British Humour, Canada Humor, Celebrities, Charming, Children and Pets, Cute, Family, Family Humor, Feel Good, Funny Family, Funny History, Funny Royalty, General Humor, General Interest, Heartwarming, Human Nature, Imagery, Jokes, Lifestyle, Not As It Seems, Oddball, Offbeat, Outrageous, Parable, Political Humor, Puns, Sardonic, Satire, School Days, Screwball, Slice of Life, Surprise Twists, Tasteless, Twisted, Uplifting, Whimsy, Witty, Zany

Milton Spofford III’s colleagues in the press were bitterly jealous. Fresh out of journalism school, “Spiffy” was as nervous as he could ever imagine being. He’d won the lottery to conduct an exclusive interview with the Queen at a time when Her Highness and family were experiencing a resurgence of interest in Great Britain and […]

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One Fib Too Far

May 14th, 2011 · 6 Comments · Allegory or Fairy Tale, American Humor, Anthropomorphic, British Comedy, British Humour, Canada Humor, Charming, Children and Pets, Cute, Fairy Tale, Family, Family Humor, Funny Absurd, Funny Animal, Funny Dialogue Story, Funny Dog, Funny Family, Funny Gotcha, Funny Outrageous, Funny Toronto, Human Nature, Jokes, Lifestyle, Not As It Seems, Oddball, Offbeat, Outrageous, Parable, Puns, Sardonic, Screwball, Slice of Life, Sports and Recreation, Storytelling, Surprise Twists, Twisted, Whimsy, Witty

This story is based on a popular joke which I believe has the wrong punch line, that a talking dog turns out to be a big liar. If one starts with the conclusion, then what might the background be? Also, please be sure to read the supplementary section in italics at the end of this tale. […]

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A Dozen Answers to One Osama Bin Laden Mystery

May 7th, 2011 · 3 Comments · American Humor, Armed Forces Lifestyle, Bad Taste, Canada Humor, Celebrities, Family, Funny Horror, General Humor, General Interest, Hard Life Choices, Human Nature, Jokes, Lifestyle, Monster, Oddball, Offbeat, Outrageous, Political Humor, Sardonic, Screwball, Slice of Life, Surprise Twists, Tasteless, Twisted, U.S. Social Commentary, Whimsy, Witty

The following attempts to provide an answer to one major mystery attached to the most recent behavior of Osama Bin Laden. By the way, I realize some people may wonder about the “taste” of this piece. That’s why I’m issuing a “gallows humor” alert up-front.  So why did Osama choose to keep his family living in plain sight […]

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The Melancholy Fog Harvester

April 30th, 2011 · 5 Comments · Allegory or Fairy Tale, American Humor, Art History, Canada Humor, Career Choices, Charming, Clash of the Sexes, Cute, Dreams, Drugs, Fairy Tale, Fantasy, Feel Good, General Humor, General Interest, Human Nature, Jokes, Lifestyle, Lyrical, Magic Realism, Mood, Not As It Seems, Oddball, Parable, Poetry, Prose Poetry, Puns, Romance, Science Fiction, Storytelling, Supernatural, Surprise Twists, Twisted, Uplifting, Whimsy, Witty

It was late of an evening and I’d run out of milk and snacks. Besides, I wanted some fresh air. That’s how it came about I was on my way to the local Daisy Mart before it closed at ten p.m. You don’t get fog in the city much anymore. Too much traffic. There’s an […]

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Undeterred She Forged Ahead

April 9th, 2011 · 2 Comments · Allegory or Fairy Tale, American Humor, British Comedy, British Humour, Canada Humor, Celebrities, Clash of the Sexes, Crossed Wires, Cute, Economic Humor, Fairy Tale, Family, Family Humor, Fantasy, Funny Horror, Human Nature, Jokes, Lifestyle, Not As It Seems, Outrageous, Parable, Puns, Romance, Sardonic, Satire, Science Fiction, Sexual Innuendo, Supernatural, Surprise Twists, Twisted, U.S. Social Commentary, Whimsy, Witty

Time: the present. Location: the upstairs master bedroom of a fabulous mansion on Long Island’s Gold Coast. Greta, the maid, knocked on the open door to give advance warning and walked thirty feet to the nightstand. She deposited the breakfast tray and acknowledged with a slight bow the thank you from the Mrs. on the […]

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