Alex Carrick’s Blog

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Entries Tagged as 'Rant'

Bad Teeth and Smelly Feet (a.k.a., Toronto’s Plastic Bag Ban)

June 16th, 2012 · 2 Comments · American Humor, Amusing, British Comedy, British Humour, Canada Humor, Economic Humor, Family Humor, Farce, Funny Embarrassment, Funny Environmental, Funny Family, Funny Government, Funny Politics, Funny Rant, Funny Smell, Funny Toronto, Green Environment, Human Nature, Lifestyle, Outrageous, Political Humor, Rant, Sardonic, Satire, Screwball, Whimsy

Toronto City Council recently banned the use of plastic bags beginning January 1, 2013. It’s a tremendous source of comfort to me that our elected officials are always looking out for what’s in our best interests, whether we know it or not.   My family of five will no longer be able to tote home […]

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The Great Wall of America (a.k.a. Diagonally Across the Country)

October 19th, 2011 · 4 Comments · Allegory or Fairy Tale, American Humor, British Comedy, British Humour, Canada Humor, Coming of Age, Cute, Family Humor, Funny Gotcha, Funny Rant, General Humor, General Interest, Geopolitics, Halloween, Hard Life Choices, Heartwarming, Human Nature, Imagery, Lifestyle, Medical Humor, Nostalgia, Not As It Seems, Oddball, Offbeat, Opinion Piece, Parable, Political Humor, Politicians, Rant, School Days, Screwball, Slice of Life, Surprise Twists

“China has one. Why can’t we?” Trevor Deeds was reading a quote from a magazine article while he waited for his appointment at the doctor’s office. The featured story examined a number of proposals to build a wall across the entire U.S.-Mexican border. Several artists’ renderings were included. There was speculation it might need to be […]

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Anheuser-Busch the Budgie (Suggestions to Lower Washington’s Debt)

July 21st, 2011 · 3 Comments · Advertising, American Humor, Armed Forces Lifestyle, British Humour, Canada Humor, Corruption, Cute, Difficult Decisions, Economics, Funny Corruption, Funny Economy, Funny Government, Funny Politics, Funny Rant, Funny Scandal, Funny Washington, General Humor, General Interest, Human Nature, Irony, Jokes, Military Life, Oddball, Offbeat, Outrageous, Political Humor, Politicians, Puns, Rant, Sardonic, Satire, Scandal, Screwball, Silly, Twisted, U.S. Social Commentary, Vice, Whimsy, Witty, Zany

Washington has a huge debt problem and the Democrats, Republicans and Tea Party can’t agree on which comes first, increase taxes or lower spending. Here are some innovative answers I’ve come up with, combining both approaches and some “outside the box” ideas, to break the impasse. (1) Privatize the issuing of birth certificates to Donald […]

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At the Intersection of Silly and Sublime

June 2nd, 2010 · 5 Comments · American Humor, Canada Humor, Celebrities, Charming, Construction Humor, Cute, Economic Humor, Family, Family Humor, Funny Rant, General Humor, General Interest, Ghost Story, Human Nature, Jokes, Lifestyle, Monster, Oddball, Offbeat, Outrageous, Political Humor, Politicians, Puns, Rant, Sardonic, Satire, Screwball, Silly, Supernatural, Whimsy, Witty, Zany

Here are sixteen new highly-sophisticated road jokes. (1) Why did all the world’s politicians cross the road? The bridge? The highway? To take credit for the infrastructure work. (2) Why did Jack Bauer cross the road? He finished torturing all the terrorists on this side. (3) Why did Gregory House cross the road? To avoid walking under a ladder, […]

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That Would Be Naïve of Me

April 24th, 2010 · 5 Comments · American Humor, Canada Humor, Cop Humor, Corruption, Difficult Decisions, Disturbing, Economic Humor, Economics, Family, Funny Rant, Funny Workplace, General Humor, General Interest, Hard Life Choices, Human Nature, Jokes, Lifestyle, Mathematics, Mystery, Not As It Seems, Oddball, Offbeat, Police Lifestyle, Political Humor, Politicians, Rant, Sardonic, Satire, Scandal, Slice of Life, Surprise Twists, Technology Advances, Twisted, U.S. Social Commentary, Vice, Workplace, Zany

As a special favor, Louise Traynor was escorted to a couple’s table in the trattoria’s alcove by the establishment’s executive chef and owner late into the luncheon sitting. The faux Italian décor was complemented by Dean Martin crooning in the background. A tiny fountain listlessly gurgled in the centre of the room. Other diners noted […]

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Pedro Martinez’ Incredible String of Good Luck

December 6th, 2009 · 8 Comments · Allegory or Fairy Tale, American Humor, British Comedy, British Humour, Canada Humor, Celebrities, Clash of the Sexes, Construction Humor, Corruption, Cute, Difficult Decisions, Disturbing, Economic Humor, Economics, Entertainment, Family, Family Humor, Funny Family, Funny Rant, Funny Workplace, Hard Life Choices, Human Nature, Jokes, Lifestyle, Mystery, Not As It Seems, Oddball, Offbeat, Parable, Political Humor, Politicians, Rant, Sardonic, Satire, Screwball, Sexual Innuendo, Slice of Life, Surprise Twists, Theology, Twisted, Whimsy, Witty, Workplace, Zany

Pedro Martinez had entered the United States illegally. There was no denying the fact. He was part of a group of 20 individuals brought over in the false back of an 18-wheeler from Mexico in early spring two years ago. To pay for the privilege, he made a cash contribution to his wife’s distant cousin, Jose […]

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I Got Robbed by a Liquor Store

October 12th, 2009 · 6 Comments · American Humor, Bad Taste, British Comedy, British Humour, Canada Humor, Charming, Cute, Difficult Decisions, Family, Family Humor, Funny Banter, Funny Psychology, Funny Rant, Funny Torture, General Humor, General Interest, Hard Life Choices, Human Nature, Jokes, Lifestyle, Not As It Seems, Oddball, Offbeat, Opinion Piece, Outrageous, Political Humor, Rant, Sardonic, Screwball, Slice of Life, Surprise Twists, Tasteless, Twisted, Whimsy, Zany

I have a story I know needs to be handled with delicacy. Thank goodness “finesse” is one of my middle names. The media often give coverage to some hapless and usually incompetent bad guy who robs a liquor store. However, this time it was the liquor store that robbed me and I’m not happy about it. Nor […]

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Floaty Boat Weekend

July 8th, 2009 · No Comments · American Humor, British Comedy, British Humour, Canada Humor, Children and Pets, Clash of the Sexes, Cottage Life, Cute, Family, Family Humor, Farce, Funny Absurd, Funny Animal, Funny Cottage, Funny Family, Funny Friends, Funny Generation Gap, Funny Husband & Wife Story, Funny Irony, Funny Rant, Funny Writing Story, Human Nature, Irony, Jokes, Lifestyle, Oddball, Offbeat, Rant, Screwball, Slice of Life, Sweet, Whimsy, Witty, Zany

The weekend started off badly for me when Donna, my wife, announced she had purchased a couple of inflatable boats to take with us to the cottage. These were to help amuse two friends of Ted, our middle child, that we were bringing with us from Friday night through Sunday.   I hate rafts. They are […]

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Everybody’s Crazy

June 29th, 2009 · 3 Comments · American Humor, British Comedy, British Humour, Canada Humor, Charming, Children and Pets, Crossed Wires, Cute, Family, Family Humor, Funny Absurd, Funny Animal, Funny Character Study, Funny Dog, Funny Family, Funny Pet, Funny Rant, Heartwarming, Human Nature, Lifestyle, Movies, Not As It Seems, Oddball, Offbeat, Outrageous, Rant, Sardonic, Screwball, Slice of Life, Surprise Twists, Twisted, Uplifting, Witty

Everybody’s crazy, some more than others. I don’t mean to make light of people who have deeply rooted problems that make their lives much more difficult. I’m talking about the large proportion of the population that passes for normal.   Among everyday acquaintances, everyone is bonkers. Some have addiction issues. Some have anger issues. Others […]

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My Wife and I Argue over a Plant

July 28th, 2008 · 8 Comments · American Humor, British Comedy, British Humour, Canada Humor, Charming, Clash of the Sexes, Cute, Family, Family Humor, Feel Good, Funny Dialogue Story, Funny Family, Funny Husband & Wife Story, Funny Husband and Wife Banter, Funny Rant, Funny Workplace, General Humor, General Interest, Heartwarming, Human Nature, Jokes, Lifestyle, Oddball, Offbeat, Plants, Rant, Sardonic, Screwball, Slice of Life, Surprise Twists, Twisted, Whimsy, Witty

My wife and I argued over a plant tonight and it isn’t even our plant. During our usual de-briefing after a busy day, she told me the following story about her workplace that I think will resonate with many readers. I am changing most of the names to protect the innocent and this is, truly, […]

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