Alex Carrick’s Blog

Driven to Write — Enjoy the Ride — Share the Journey

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Entries Tagged as 'Funny Rant'

How to Know When You’re on the Cusp of Old Age

February 1st, 2014 · 3 Comments · American Humor, Amusing, British Comedy, British Humour, Canada Humor, Charming, Cute, Family Humor, Farce, Funny Aging, Funny Family, Funny Generation Gap, Funny Rant, Heartwarming, Human Nature, Oddball, Offbeat, Outrageous, Romp, Sardonic, Screwball, Silly, Whimsy, Zany

This story doesn’t need much preamble. Besides, I like to keep my writing short these days. Maybe it’s a by-product of growing crankier. From a man’s point of view, the following are advance indicators that you may be approaching the “senior” years. (1) You read episode summaries of your favorite TV shows on the Internet […]

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My Dentist and I Argue over Oral Hygiene

November 21st, 2013 · 1 Comment · American Humor, Amusing, British Comedy, British Humour, Canada Humor, Charming, Cute, Dentist Humor, Family Humor, Farce, Funny Banter, Funny Dialogue Story, Funny Horror, Funny Pain, Funny Rant, Funny Script, Funny Torture, General Humor, Human Nature, Jokes, Lifestyle, Medical Humor, Oddball, Offbeat, Romp, Scary, Screwball, Silly, Twisted, Video Script, Whimsy, Witty, Zany

I went to the dentist’s office this morning. To help foster a personal touch, there’s a notation on my chart that I’m an economist, so she usually begins our sessions by asking me where I think interest rates are headed. This time, however, my body language was such that she skipped the formalities and we […]

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“Two Scoops” Is Just Right – Now Available!

January 17th, 2013 · No Comments · Allegory or Fairy Tale, American Humor, British Comedy, British Humour, Canada Humor, Children and Pets, Cottage Life, Cute, Economic Humor, Family Humor, Fantasy, Funny Dog, Funny Family, Funny Irony, Funny Rant, Funny Workplace, General Humor, General Interest, Heartwarming, Human Nature, Irony, Jokes, Lifestyle, Love, Mystery, Nostalgia, Not As It Seems, Oddball, Offbeat, Paranormal, Religious allegory, Romance, School Days, Science Fiction, Screwball, Slice of Life, Supernatural, Surprise Twists, Time Travel, Whimsy, Witty, Zany

A collection of some of the stories appearing on this blog site. Mr. Carrick’s entertaining books are perfect for when you want to relax. They are also spot-on gifts for almost any occasion. To order “Two Scoops” Is Just Right for Kindle from Amazon,  please click here. “Three Scoops” Is A Blast! can be obtained by pressing  here. “Four Scoops” […]

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Bad Teeth and Smelly Feet (a.k.a., Toronto’s Plastic Bag Ban)

June 16th, 2012 · 2 Comments · American Humor, Amusing, British Comedy, British Humour, Canada Humor, Economic Humor, Family Humor, Farce, Funny Embarrassment, Funny Environmental, Funny Family, Funny Government, Funny Politics, Funny Rant, Funny Smell, Funny Toronto, Green Environment, Human Nature, Lifestyle, Outrageous, Political Humor, Rant, Sardonic, Satire, Screwball, Whimsy

Toronto City Council recently banned the use of plastic bags beginning January 1, 2013. It’s a tremendous source of comfort to me that our elected officials are always looking out for what’s in our best interests, whether we know it or not.   My family of five will no longer be able to tote home […]

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The Monkey, the Croc and the T-Rex

November 1st, 2011 · 5 Comments · Allegory or Fairy Tale, American Humor, Anthropomorphic, British Comedy, British Humour, Canada Humor, Charming, Cute, Fairy Tale, Fantasy, Funny Absurd, Funny Animal, Funny Banter, Funny Business, Funny Character Study, Funny Crystal Ball, Funny Dialogue Story, Funny Friends, Funny Headline, Funny Horror, Funny Parable, Funny Rant, Funny Technology, Lifestyle, Not As It Seems, Oddball, Offbeat, Parable, Puns, Sardonic, Satire, Science Fiction, Screwball, Slice of Life, Surprise Twists, Whimsy, Witty, Zany

“Dinosaur Spots Comet in Sky.” “That’s the headline I’m going with,” said Dilly the crocodile to Tony the T-Rex, as they faced each other across the entranceway to the latter’s luxurious cave. It was the most modern of eras in an alternative universe containing the 88th iteration of “standard” earth where the animals had evolved […]

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The Great Wall of America (a.k.a. Diagonally Across the Country)

October 19th, 2011 · 4 Comments · Allegory or Fairy Tale, American Humor, British Comedy, British Humour, Canada Humor, Coming of Age, Cute, Family Humor, Funny Gotcha, Funny Rant, General Humor, General Interest, Geopolitics, Halloween, Hard Life Choices, Heartwarming, Human Nature, Imagery, Lifestyle, Medical Humor, Nostalgia, Not As It Seems, Oddball, Offbeat, Opinion Piece, Parable, Political Humor, Politicians, Rant, School Days, Screwball, Slice of Life, Surprise Twists

“China has one. Why can’t we?” Trevor Deeds was reading a quote from a magazine article while he waited for his appointment at the doctor’s office. The featured story examined a number of proposals to build a wall across the entire U.S.-Mexican border. Several artists’ renderings were included. There was speculation it might need to be […]

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Anheuser-Busch the Budgie (Suggestions to Lower Washington’s Debt)

July 21st, 2011 · 3 Comments · Advertising, American Humor, Armed Forces Lifestyle, British Humour, Canada Humor, Corruption, Cute, Difficult Decisions, Economics, Funny Corruption, Funny Economy, Funny Government, Funny Politics, Funny Rant, Funny Scandal, Funny Washington, General Humor, General Interest, Human Nature, Irony, Jokes, Military Life, Oddball, Offbeat, Outrageous, Political Humor, Politicians, Puns, Rant, Sardonic, Satire, Scandal, Screwball, Silly, Twisted, U.S. Social Commentary, Vice, Whimsy, Witty, Zany

Washington has a huge debt problem and the Democrats, Republicans and Tea Party can’t agree on which comes first, increase taxes or lower spending. Here are some innovative answers I’ve come up with, combining both approaches and some “outside the box” ideas, to break the impasse. (1) Privatize the issuing of birth certificates to Donald […]

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At the Intersection of Silly and Sublime

June 2nd, 2010 · 5 Comments · American Humor, Canada Humor, Celebrities, Charming, Construction Humor, Cute, Economic Humor, Family, Family Humor, Funny Rant, General Humor, General Interest, Ghost Story, Human Nature, Jokes, Lifestyle, Monster, Oddball, Offbeat, Outrageous, Political Humor, Politicians, Puns, Rant, Sardonic, Satire, Screwball, Silly, Supernatural, Whimsy, Witty, Zany

Here are sixteen new highly-sophisticated road jokes. (1) Why did all the world’s politicians cross the road? The bridge? The highway? To take credit for the infrastructure work. (2) Why did Jack Bauer cross the road? He finished torturing all the terrorists on this side. (3) Why did Gregory House cross the road? To avoid walking under a ladder, […]

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That Would Be Naïve of Me

April 24th, 2010 · 5 Comments · American Humor, Canada Humor, Cop Humor, Corruption, Difficult Decisions, Disturbing, Economic Humor, Economics, Family, Funny Rant, Funny Workplace, General Humor, General Interest, Hard Life Choices, Human Nature, Jokes, Lifestyle, Mathematics, Mystery, Not As It Seems, Oddball, Offbeat, Police Lifestyle, Political Humor, Politicians, Rant, Sardonic, Satire, Scandal, Slice of Life, Surprise Twists, Technology Advances, Twisted, U.S. Social Commentary, Vice, Workplace, Zany

As a special favor, Louise Traynor was escorted to a couple’s table in the trattoria’s alcove by the establishment’s executive chef and owner late into the luncheon sitting. The faux Italian décor was complemented by Dean Martin crooning in the background. A tiny fountain listlessly gurgled in the centre of the room. Other diners noted […]

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Queen’s Jester to King’s Betterment

April 2nd, 2010 · 2 Comments · Allegory or Fairy Tale, American Humor, British Comedy, British Humour, Canada Humor, Clash of the Sexes, Crossed Wires, Family Humor, Family Tragedy, Funny Dialogue Story, Funny Embarrassment, Funny Horror, Funny Husband & Wife Story, Funny Murder, Funny Rant, Funny Royalty, Geopolitics, Horror, Human Nature, Jokes, Love Triangle, Medieval, Murder, Not As It Seems, Offbeat, Parable, Political Humor, Romance, Satire, Surprise Twists, Twisted, Whimsy, Witty, Zany

The following is an edifying tale wherein a king learns a valuable lesson from his queen and the whole nation is better off as a consequence. The court jester plays a pivotal role as well, although he probably came to wish he’d stayed out of it.   There once lived a king who was always mad. […]

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