Alex Carrick’s Blog

How hot and humid is Toronto this summer? It’s so hot that…
(1) Out-0n-bail G20 protesters have declared a moratorium on burning cop cars.
(2) Casual Friday has become sponge bath Friday;
(3) All of the city’s mayoral candidates want to tax and license running through sprinklers.
(4) The pavement on Yonge Street is melting faster than the ice surface at [...]

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Here are sixteen original and highly sophisticated road jokes.
(1) Why did all of the world’s leaders cross the road? The bridge? The Highway? To take credit for the infrastructure work.
(2) Why did Jack Bauer cross the road? He finished torturing all the terrorists on this side.
(3) Why did Gregory House cross the road? To avoid walking [...]

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As a special favor, Louise Traynor was escorted to a couple’s table in the trattoria’s alcove by the establishment’s executive chef and owner late into the luncheon sitting. The faux Italian décor was complemented by Dean Martin crooning in the background. A tiny fountain listlessly gurgled in the centre of the room. Other diners noted [...]

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Pedro Martinez had entered the United States illegally. There was no denying that fact. He was part of a group of 20 individuals brought over in the false back of an 18-wheeler from Mexico in early spring two years ago. To pay for the privilege, he made a cash contribution to his wife’s distant cousin, [...]

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A spate of public rudeness lately has raised the question of how society has come to this sorry pass. Kanye West in the world of hip hop, Serena Williams in tennis and Joe Wilson in Washington’s political hot house all stepped over the traditional bounds of civility in the past week. What are the trends that [...]

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To understand the current medical-coverage debate in the United States, you have to know your history. When President Bill Clinton was first elected, his wife Hillary took on the task of comparison shopping around the world to determine the best medical plans. The conclusion was that the best coverage was offered by Hogwarts Academy in [...]

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I was driving in my car the other day when a news item came over the radio that made me really pause and think. Apparently there has been such a shopping spree for guns in the United States that there is now, not just a shortage of ammunition, but a “critical” shortage. That’s how the [...]

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Hank and Harriet, single and alone in their own separate worlds, had seen the ads on late-night TV. Their friends had encouraged them to give it a try. Now here they were, staring each other down across a tiny table in a hotel ballroom filled with 100 other hopefuls.
 
They were about to start their [...]

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My nose knows and it is telling me that I need to write about Toronto’s garbage workers strike. We’re about to enter the fourth week. Negotiations between the mayor’s office and the union are getting overheated. Everyone is sweating over the details. The situation has become sticky. You see the problem? There is going to be a lingering [...]

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Who’s in charge of the proposed coalition in Canada’s Parliament?
 
I’ve written before about how political and entertainment celebrities have the potential to work at Wal-Mart as greeters once they retire. With the current recession and possible job losses, these career moves may have to be brought forward.
 

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