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Driving Schools: What’s in a Name?

April 7th, 2008 · 1 Comment · American Humor, British Comedy, British Humour, Canada Humor, Charming, Construction Humor, Cop Humor, Cottage Life, Cute, Disturbing, Family, Family Humor, Funny Driving, Funny Generation Gap, Funny Horror, Funny Rant, Funny Scary, Human Nature, Lifestyle, Oddball, Offbeat, Outrageous, Satire, Screwball, Slice of Life, Surprise Twists, Twisted, Whimsy, Witty, Zany

Alex Carrick

It has often been said there are two driving seasons in Canada, winter and construction. We are currently in the transition period from the former to the latter.

 

My wife and I were talking about this the other day as we made our way to the cottage on Georgian Bay for the first time in the new year. To take our minds off the driving conditions, we started batting around potential names for driving schools that might prepare the next generation for the road hazards ahead.

 

Here are the Top 10 names we came up with. Feel free to add your own.

 

(1) The “Sincere Apologies” driving school − for driving students who just know they’re not going to get it right.

 

(2) The “Lucky Brake” driving school − who can resist the cheesy pun?

 

(3) The “Leadfoot” driving school − to be charitable, let’s just say this is for those who have “eye-foot” co-ordination problems.

 

(4) “Repo Man” driving school – where the teachers are true professionals and the students are open to learning new tricks.

 

(5) The “Pray Hard” driving school – for the religious (i.e., just close your eyes and …)

 

(6) The “White Cane” driving school – I don’t even want to think about it.

 

(7) “Yikes!” driving school − you might as well get used to saying it.

 

(8) “Honkers” driving school − for those in a hurry to get to Hooters.

 

(9) The “Multi-tasking” driving school – this is for people who want to do more than just drive (e.g., talk on the phone, drink coffee; apply make-up; write a blog entry; etc.)

 

(10) The “Hide-My-Car-Keys” driving school – for all graduates of the preceding nine driving schools.

 

In the real world of driving in Toronto, there are some names that are every bit as creative as the above, but I don’t want to add them here for fear of being sued or run over.

 

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Read what my alter ego has to say about many of the mysteries of life in Words of Wisdom from Ari Noshuns. You will leave much wiser and with your funny bone amused.

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For my first book, “Two Scoops” Is Just Right, please click here for the paperback version and here for the Kindle e-book version.

For the sequel, “Three Scoops” Is A Blast! (with the award-winning “Size of the Skip”) click here for paperback and here for Kindle.

For “Four Scoops” Is Over The Top (containing Hemingway short-listed “Caboose Follies”) click here for paperback and here for Kindle.

And finally, for my latest book, “Five Scoops” Is An Addiction!, please click here for the paperback and here for the Kindle digital version.

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1 response so far ↓

  • 1 Jenny Martucci // Apr 14, 2012 at 12:31 pm

    Funny! I live in New York and your school names are applicable here as well! Thanks for making me smile.

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