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Ode to an Audience (Part 1 of 3)

August 5th, 2008 · No Comments · American Humor, Amusing, British Comedy, British Humour, Canada Humor, Cop Humor, Crossed Wires, Economic Humor, Economics, Farce, Funny Banter, Funny Dialogue Story, Funny Embarrassment, Funny Workplace, Human Nature, Jokes, Lifestyle, Offbeat, Public Speaking, Romp, Screwball, Zany

Alex Carrick

I do a lot of public speaking and let me tell you how much I appreciate having an audience. All of what I’m about to relate really happened.

Last fall, I was booked to do a big interior design show in Toronto where I live. I won’t mention the name of the event because I don’t want to embarrass anyone.

However, the delegates were interested in product trends, not economic forecasts. I was signed up for the wrong “gig”. It was a giant trade show, with a few seminars mixed in.

I arose early in the morning and drove downtown because I hate rush hour traffic.

I should have known better, but I was pulled over by the police where River Road meets King Street, for rolling through a stop sign.

I’m becoming a little older and I don’t really like being stopped by the cops. Furthermore, there’s drag racing on Highway 404 after midnight, but I’m the one who gets caught for a vehicular transgression.

As a public service, I pointed this out to the officer and added that I thought this was just a bogus set-up to extract money from me. I was feeling pretty good to that point, but then I couldn’t produce my car insurance.

I started to get frazzled and my stress level took off alarmingly. I was thinking, “I’ve got to give a speech this morning and, instead, I’m going to get busted by the authorities for my attitude.”

Anyway, I received two summonses and two hundred dollars’ worth of fines and set out on my way again.


My unfortunate experiences that day were just beginning. The mayhem becomes more extreme in Ode to an Audience (Part 2).


For my first book, “Two Scoops” Is Just Right, please click here for the paperback version and here for the Kindle e-book version.

For the sequel, “Three Scoops” Is A Blast! (with the award-winning “Size of the Skip”) click here for paperback and here for Kindle.

For “Four Scoops” Is Over The Top (containing Hemingway short-listed “Caboose Follies”) click here for paperback and here for Kindle.

And finally, for my latest book, “Five Scoops” Is An Addiction!, please click here for the paperback and here for the Kindle digital version.

Also, I would love it if you joined me on Twitter (Alex_Carrick), Facebook and/or LinkedIn.

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