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Bad Starts to the Working Day

April 21st, 2009 · 1 Comment · American Humor, British Comedy, British Humour, Canada Humor, Children and Pets, Cute, Family Humor, Funny Dog, Funny Expenses, Funny Family, Funny Office, Funny Rant, Funny Workplace, Human Nature, Jokes, Lifestyle, Oddball, Offbeat, Outrageous, Screwball, Slice of Life, Surprise Twists, Twisted, Whimsy, Witty, Zany

Alex Carrick

You know your working day is probably going to seem “not too bad” only in retrospect when one or more of the following happens early on.

 

 

(1) The “chimmy changas” you ate last night have stopped dancing and have now turned surly.

 

(2) You climb out of bed and notice the dog has eaten most of your immunity idol. You are aware the rest of the survivors hate you and that your time on the island will soon be up, metaphorically speaking.

 

(3) The face staring back at you in the bathroom mirror looks like a candidate for the next episode of House.

 

(4) The kids walk into the bedroom with a forgotten volume of papers from school and day care. You were supposed to have read, signed, attached a cheque and returned them a week ago. The administrators already have a number of nicknames for you based on your tardiness to respond, but the one that stings the most is “deadline deadbeat”.

 

(5) If you’re a woman, your nose, hose and mascara are all running in about equal measure and there is no clear winner.

 

(6) You gather up this week’s bills to go along with last week’s bills, planning to deal with them at the bank during lunch hour. You stuff them in your briefcase and now it’s too thick and heavy to lift without getting a hernia.

 

(7) You’re stuck in a traffic jam half way to work when you realize the extra copy of the house key, or the garage door opener, or whatever it takes to gain access to the fuse box is in your pocket and you have a $100 per hour repairman scheduled to arrive at your home and fix something electrical.

 

(8) If you are a man, your first e-mail of the day is an invitation to an intervention. The party who needs help isn’t named, but you know everybody on the distribution list and the most likely subject for a straightening out, on several counts, is yourself. You decide to go anyway because it might be a nice break from the usual routine.

 

(9) The blog entry you wrote yesterday that seemed so brilliant and/or funny at the time now reads like it was written by a monkey on crack.

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Here’s another story featuring today’s often incomprehensible work environment, To Whom It June Concern.

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For my first book, “Two Scoops” Is Just Right, please click here for the paperback version and here for the Kindle e-book version.

For the sequel, “Three Scoops” Is A Blast! (with the award-winning “Size of the Skip”) click here for paperback and here for Kindle.

For “Four Scoops” Is Over The Top (containing Hemingway short-listed “Caboose Follies”) click here for paperback and here for Kindle.

And finally, for my latest book, “Five Scoops” Is An Addiction!, please click here for the paperback and here for the Kindle digital version.

Also, I would love it if you joined me on Twitter (Alex_Carrick), Facebook and/or LinkedIn.

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1 response so far ↓

  • 1 Sara // May 18, 2011 at 7:58 am

    Oh, I can relate to some of those. At least today started out with a laugh. Thank you.

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