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A Mathematical Proof Economists are Sexy

November 21st, 2008 · 1 Comment · American Humor, British Comedy, British Humour, Canada Humor, Cute, Economic Humor, Entertainment, Funny Banter, Funny Celebrity, Funny Economy, Funny Erotica, Funny Husband and Wife Banter, Funny R-rated, Funny Sayings, Funny Sex, Funny Sports, Funny Writing Story, Human Nature, Jokes, Lifestyle, Puns, Satire, Sexual Innuendo, Surprise Twists, Twisted, Whimsy, Witty

Alex Carrick

My wife, Donna, writes crime novels, five of them so far. It’s hard to get published these days, for a variety of reasons, and Donna is self-publishing.

 

She has an Internet site, but also knows how important it is to network. As part of this effort, she attends functions of Sisters in Crime and Crime Writers of Canada. Sometimes I go along as well.

  

We recently attended one annual conference and had an enjoyable dinner with the other writers. These are engaging people who are charming and nice, as well as being super bright. However, as I kidded Donna, afterwards, you can easily get the impression that authors have only three topics of conversation – their previous book, their current book and their next book.

 

But then I considered the matter further and realized that the same may hold true for all professions. Think about it. For lawyers, the three pre-occupations are:

 

(1)  Sue?

(2)  Be sued? Or

(3)  Settle?

 

For doctors, considering the welfare of their patients, it’s:

 

(1)  Getting better?

(2)  Getting worse? or

(3)  Stable, which is good, unless that means the patient is dead?

 

With accountants and their ledgers, it’s:

 

(1)  In the black?

(2)  In the red? And

(3)  Where can I get a personality? I know this is an old joke, but it always gets a laugh.

 

With undertakers and funeral directors, the three major questions are:

 

(1)  Bury?

(2)  Cremate? or

(3)  Stockpile?

 

Life is more complicated for professional athletes. They wonder:

 

(1)  Where are we in the standings?

(2)  Can I pass the next drug test? And

(3)  Am I the father?

 

This brings me to economists. Economists are all about charts and statistics. Often we’ll attach arrows to the results. The bottom line for us is whether the latest numbers are moving:

 

(1)  Up?

(2)  Down? Or

(3)  Sideways?

 

And don’t tell me that economists aren’t sexy, because if you think about it, workers in the sex trade have exactly the same three major concerns − up, down or sideways?

 

I don’t even know what that means. My wife, the writer, told me to say it.

 

I refer to the foregoing as a mathematical proof that economists are sexy. And no, I do not think such a statement is oxymoronic.

 

****

 

Yes, there’s the obvious sexual allure that goes with being an economist, but there are many other Reasons to Want to be Governor of the Bank of Canada.

 

**

 

For my first book, “Two Scoops” Is Just Right, please click here for the paperback version and here for the Kindle e-book version.

 

For the sequel, “Three Scoops” Is A Blast! (with the award-winning “Size of the Skip”) click here for paperback and here for Kindle.

 

For “Four Scoops” Is Over The Top (containing Hemingway short-listed “Caboose Follies”) click here for paperback and here for Kindle.

 

And finally, for my latest book, “Five Scoops” Is An Addiction!, please click here for the paperback and here for the Kindle digital version.

 

Also, I would love it if you joined me on Twitter (Alex_Carrick), Facebook and/or LinkedIn.

 

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1 response so far ↓

  • 1 Scooter Carlyle // May 24, 2011 at 7:58 pm

    Teachers:

    1. Valium,
    2. Duct tape, or
    3. Ritalin salt lick installed on the playground.

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