Alex Carrick’s Blog

XaniaXYM-529’s attention was glued to one of thousands of monitors hooked up to the enormous rumbling machine that was focused on the planet a considerable distance away. He was luxuriating onboard his species’ most modern space station. From earth, the craft was hidden in the flotsam that made up Saturn’s ring. The giant device at [...]

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Pedro Martinez had entered the United States illegally. There was no denying the fact. He was part of a group of 20 individuals brought over in the false back of an 18-wheeler from Mexico in early spring two years ago. To pay for the privilege, he made a cash contribution to his wife’s distant cousin, Jose [...]

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After recently acquiring Marvel Comics, Disney Corporation is apparently now going after an even bigger corporate prize, Hell Inc. In a surprise move, it has been learned that the devil is interested in selling his interest in the underworld and moving to Palm Springs. There’s something about the climate there that appeals to him.   [...]

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In an earlier blog entry, I introduced the possibility of celebrities, when their careers end or hit a dry spell, finding employment as “greeters” at Wal-Mart. Some of them would have rather obvious opening lines when you walk through the doors to go shopping.

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A woman, working in a Tim Hortons donut shop in London Ontario, was recently fired for giving away one free “timbit” to a baby. This has become a public relations nightmare for the company.   Timbits are the punched out centres of donuts – the empty holes, as it were – and, in some theoretical [...]

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Over the weekend, I had some fun imagining how certain celebrities and politicians would seem to be ideally suited for second careers, in their golden years, as “greeters” at Wal-Mart. Try to imagine being met by these people and these words on your way into the store.

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