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Shortage of Bullets in the U.S. goes Critical

July 24th, 2009 · No Comments · American Humor, Amusing, British Comedy, British Humour, Canada Humor, Cop Humor, Disturbing, Funny Absurd, Funny Editorial, Funny Environmental, Funny News, Funny Outrageous, Funny Politics, Funny Scary, Green Environment, Jokes, Lifestyle, Opinion Piece, Political Humor, Politicians, U.S. Social Commentary

Alex Carrick

I was driving in my car the other day when a news item came over the radio that made me really pause and think. Apparently there has been such a shopping spree for guns in the United States that there is now, not just a shortage of ammunition, but a “critical” shortage. That’s how the announcer phrased it. This raises all kinds of questions.

 

First, I would like to know who makes the call about whether or not a shortage of ammo is critical. Is it a committee of elderly women? Is it the Surgeon General? Maybe it’s Tony Soprano? I suspect that each of these would have a different set of criteria.

 

Second, how can the shortage be deemed critical? Is there a war on in the streets of America? Is it essential that people have ammunition? Usually items fall into short supply because they are being consumed or used up in some way. Are U.S. citizens going through ammunition at a too rapid “clip”, so to speak? Who’s shooting whom? Or is it all just target practice? In either case, somebody’s getting a sore trigger finger.

 

Maybe we’re dealing with a situation that is analogous to storing fruit and a lot of existing ammo is going bad. It’s rotting on the shelves like days-old bananas. Much of it is past its stale date. It’s no longer fresh and has to be replaced. When called upon for stopping power, it may only be able to temporarily delay or trip up intended targets.

 

This also begs the question, how many bullets does each person really need? Two sounds like a reasonable number to me. I don’t have anything to base this on except that everyone should have at least one bullet and it wouldn’t be a bad idea to have a backup.

 

Or maybe a better number would be enough to yield a full chamber, depending on the weapon of choice, of course. This would reduce the chance of miss-fires. I’m guessing that there are plenty of people who think that 100 bullets aren’t enough. That’s probably per gun. Multiply that by five or six guns per capita and you’re talking about serious protection.

 

Americans are getting all worked up about health care reform. This seems like a waste of energy when there is a more “critical” problem, the shortage of deliverable firepower. On the other hand, the shortage of missiles might just reduce the demands on the health care system, through lowering the number of wounds and bleed-outs that need cauterizing.

 

Congress is acting irresponsibly in not taking swift action to rectify the problem. President Obama has taken his eye off the revolver. That’s understandable given his latest worry. When the heads of Chrysler, General Motors and Ford were called before committee hearings earlier this year, strips were torn off them for using personal jets to fly to Washington. This became a symbol of corporate excess. Now the de facto Chairman of two of those companies is none other than President Obama. He must be having sleepless nights wondering if Air Force One will be taken away from him.

 

But getting back to the issue of too few bullets, how does one get around a supply shortage in other areas of the economy? And remember that this is a new “greener” world. Why, of course, one recycles. A trip to the morgue might prove useful. Spent cartridges can be refilled with gunpowder and sent on their merry way again.

 

Another solution might involve an arrangement with the Mafia to turn in their cartridges after using. A similar deal with drug cartels might also prove to be a gold mine, if we can get them to think more responsibly when it comes to re-using a valuable but endangered resource. Similar voluntary efforts by society at large can provide hope for the future.

 

The good news is that this ammunition shortage is not irreversible. The environmental movement is spotlighting the way out of this dilemma. Each of us, in our own way, can do our part. All it will take is a little effort and a tiny bit more consideration for others.

 

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Changing pace, I hope you enjoy the fractured romance that seeks resolution in Forever Running Late.

 

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For my first book, “Two Scoops” Is Just Right, please click here for the paperback version and here for the Kindle e-book version.

 

For the sequel, “Three Scoops” Is A Blast! (with the award-winning “Size of the Skip”) click here for paperback and here for Kindle.

For “Four Scoops” Is Over The Top (containing Hemingway short-listed “Caboose Follies”) click here for paperback and here for Kindle.

And finally, for my latest book, “Five Scoops” Is An Addiction!, please click here for the paperback and here for the Kindle digital version.

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