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Why’d You Leave Me in the Lurch?

August 3rd, 2009 · No Comments · American Humor, British Comedy, British Humour, Canada Humor, Children and Pets, Clash of the Sexes, Cute, Family Humor, Funny Cheating, Funny Dating, Funny Romance, Funny Song Lyrics, Funny True Love, Human Nature, Jokes, Lifestyle, Lyrical, Music, Musical Humor, Romance, Song Lyrics, Whimsy

Alex Carrick

In another romantic space, long long ago, I wrote the following lyrics to a song that can only be heard in my own head. Nevertheless, I think they make for entertaining reading, particularly at a time such as this, when the economy is in rough shape. Furthermore, I would suggest these words could only have been written by an economist. Here goes.

 

The Headache Song

 

You’ve left me with a headache,

On top of all my heartache,

Because of my big mistake,

In ever loving you.

 

I knew you’d never be true,

I’d be the one you’d lie to,

Leaving me to feel foo-

lish alone and blue.

 

Chorus:

 

Why’d you leave me in the lurch that way?

My best friend came and stole my gal away,

And here I’m left with all these bills to pay,

No second income for this rainy day.

 

Back to Main Tune

 

It’s not enough you left town,

My credit’s all now run down,

The bank manager’s grim frown,

Whatever will I do?

 

The repo man, he came by,

My car, my cards, all good-bye,

My tears, my sadness, big sigh,

When I find you two, I’ll sue.

 

Repeat Chorus, then back to main tune:

 

I feel I’d like to kick butt,

My cat would like me locked up,

Since you left me, buttercup,

My life has gone to…, well.

 

Darling, hear my lament,

Please let it make a small dent,

Take pity and send the rent,

And save me at the bell.

 

Chorus again, then repeat first verse to end.

 

Since I alone can hear the tune to the above, it seems only fair I leave you with a song you can hum along to as well. What follows is a reworking of the lyrics to the music from Evita. Try getting this out of your head, once you’ve read it.

 

Don’t cry for me, rigatoni,

As a pasta, I never liked you,

My salad bar days,

We parted our ways,

Give me baloney,

With macaroni.

 

And it goes on from there.

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For more rapid-fire poetry, there’s also Godzilla’s in the House, with some surprising subject matter such as hot air balloons and yo-yos.

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For my first book, “Two Scoops” Is Just Right, please click here for the paperback version and here for the Kindle e-book version.

For the sequel, “Three Scoops” Is A Blast! (with the award-winning “Size of the Skip”) click here for paperback and here for Kindle.

For “Four Scoops” Is Over The Top (containing Hemingway short-listed “Caboose Follies”) click here for paperback and here for Kindle.

And finally, for my latest book, “Five Scoops” Is An Addiction!, please click here for the paperback and here for the Kindle digital version.

Also, I would love it if you joined me on Twitter (Alex_Carrick), Facebook and/or LinkedIn.

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