Alex Carrick’s Blog

Driven to Write — Enjoy the Ride — Share the Journey

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Entries Tagged as 'Twisted'

How to Know When You’ve Become a Certain Kind of Writer (wink wink)

February 8th, 2014 · 1 Comment · American Humor, Amusing, Bad Taste, British Comedy, British Humour, Canada Humor, Charming, Clash of the Sexes, Cop Humor, Cute, Farce, Funny Embarrassment, Funny Erotica, Funny R-rated, Funny Sex, Funny Writing Story, Jokes, Lifestyle, Oddball, Offbeat, Outrageous, Puns, Romp, Screwball, Sexual Innuendo, Twisted, Whimsy, Witty, Zany

Surrounded by racy stories in the media everywhere these days, I sometimes find myself caught up in the flow and straying out of bounds with my material. To help you discover whether or not you may be flirting with the same R-rated conundrum, here are a dozen tell-tale signs that, wittingly or otherwise, you’ve acquired some expertise in writing the […]

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My Dentist and I Argue over Oral Hygiene

November 21st, 2013 · 1 Comment · American Humor, Amusing, British Comedy, British Humour, Canada Humor, Charming, Cute, Dentist Humor, Family Humor, Farce, Funny Banter, Funny Dialogue Story, Funny Horror, Funny Pain, Funny Rant, Funny Script, Funny Torture, General Humor, Human Nature, Jokes, Lifestyle, Medical Humor, Oddball, Offbeat, Romp, Scary, Screwball, Silly, Twisted, Video Script, Whimsy, Witty, Zany

I went to the dentist’s office this morning. To help foster a personal touch, there’s a notation on my chart that I’m an economist, so she usually begins our sessions by asking me where I think interest rates are headed. This time, however, my body language was such that she skipped the formalities and we […]

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Too Soon? Too Much? Too Bad

November 9th, 2013 · 1 Comment · Afterlife, American Humor, Amusing, Bad Taste, British Comedy, British Humour, Canada Humor, Celebrities, Comedians, Cute, Disturbing, Entertainment, Family Humor, Farce, Funny Embarrassment, Funny Irony, General Humor, Human Nature, Jokes, Lifestyle, Macabre, Oddball, Offbeat, Outrageous, Retribution, Revenge, Romp, Sardonic, Satire, Screwball, Silly, Slice of Life, Surprise Twists, Tasteless, Twisted, Whimsy, Witty, Zany

Certain professional comedians believe they have a sacred duty to uncover something funny in every situation ‒ natural disasters and human misfortune be damned. As an individual who often writes material that is intended to be humorous, I may sympathize with this approach even while cringeing. When the average man or woman attempts such levity, […]

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How to Know When You’re a Hypochondriac

April 23rd, 2012 · 2 Comments · American Humor, British Comedy, British Humour, Canada Humor, Charming, Cute, Family Humor, Farce, General Humor, Human Nature, Jokes, Lifestyle, Macabre, Medical Humor, Oddball, Offbeat, Outrageous, Screwball, Slice of Life, Twisted, Whimsy, Witty, Zany

There are certain tell-tale signs that let you know if and when you’ve become a hypochondriac. The following is a brief list. There are many more indicators, but logging them would take an effort that might better go towards looking after my (I mean your) health. (1) You bought your first coffin when you were aged […]

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The Seductive Charm of a Tentative Touch

March 17th, 2012 · 2 Comments · Afterlife, Clash of the Sexes, Disturbing, Dreams, Drugs, Fairy Tale, Family, Family Tragedy, Fantasy, Ghost Story, Horror, Human Nature, Imagery, Literary, Love, Love Triangle, Lyrical, Macabre, Magic Realism, Monster, Mood, Murder, Murder Mystery, Mystery, Not As It Seems, Offbeat, Paranormal, Romance, Scary, Supernatural, Surprise Twists, Twisted

Regal and relaxed; five foot six or so; in her early twenties; hair in a pixie cut; flawless light brown skin. Those were some of the phrases that came to Sylvia’s mind as the young woman floated into her store. Sylvia was alerted by the sound of a bell set off by the opening wooden screen […]

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The Priestess and Her Strobe Light Burden

January 28th, 2012 · Comments Off on The Priestess and Her Strobe Light Burden · Afterlife, Allegory or Fairy Tale, American Humor, British Humour, Canada Humor, Cop Humor, Disturbing, Fairy Tale, Family, Family Humor, Family Tragedy, Fantasy, Funny Horror, Funny Murder, Funny Paranormal, Ghost Story, Horror, Human Nature, Imagery, Lifestyle, Lyrical, Macabre, Magic Realism, Medieval, Monster, Murder, Mystery, Oddball, Offbeat, Outrageous, Prose Poetry, Religion, Retribution, Revenge, Sardonic, Scary, Screwball, Sorcery, Supernatural, Surprise Twists, Twisted, Witchcraft

With the exception of a section towards the end of this story, all of the events recorded below occurred in one special year. The season and the locales are noted in italics. ** Early spring, Barrie, Ontario, Canada: The first officer on the scene struggled to come up with a reaction. He thought it wasn’t […]

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Nostra and Damus

January 2nd, 2012 · 3 Comments · Allegory or Fairy Tale, Charming, Clash of the Sexes, Corruption, Fairy Tale, Family, Family Tragedy, Feel Good, Funny Paranormal, Heartwarming, Human Nature, Imagery, Irony, Literary, Longing, Love, Lyrical, Macabre, Medieval, Monster, Mood, Murder, Murder Mystery, Mystery, Not As It Seems, Oddball, Offbeat, Prose Poetry, Religion, Romance, Screwball, Storytelling, Supernatural, Surprise Twists, Sweet, Twisted, Wedding, Whimsy

Beginnings oft times are brutal. Unfortunately, so are endings. In between is mostly a race. A mad dash to grow up, acquire knowledge and earn a living, whether honestly or not. Events spin out of control. The passing show’s a blur. On the final leg, if we’re lucky and fate hasn’t already intervened, we race […]

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Foil’s Forsaken Folio

December 18th, 2011 · Comments Off on Foil’s Forsaken Folio · Academics, Allegory or Fairy Tale, American Humor, British Comedy, British Humour, Canada Humor, Clash of the Sexes, Coming of Age, Fairy Tale, Family Humor, Family Tragedy, Fantasy, Funny Horror, Funny Murder, General Humor, General Interest, Horror, Human Nature, Irony, Jokes, Lifestyle, Literary, Macabre, Monster, Murder, Murder Mystery, Not As It Seems, Oddball, Offbeat, Parable, Romance, Sardonic, Satire, School Days, Screwball, Sexual Innuendo, Storytelling, Surprise Twists, Twisted, Whimsy, Zany

There once lived a king who loved the theater. His taste crossed all genres – romances, sophisticated comedies, broad farces and stomach-churning tragedies. He particularly liked historical pieces that featured his ancestors. Watching his predecessors parade around in crowns and tiaras while engaging in outrageous behavior was a self-centered delight. The royals’ peccadilloes were well […]

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Pretty Sure What Done Him In

November 26th, 2011 · 2 Comments · Academics, Allegory or Fairy Tale, American Humor, British Comedy, British Humour, Canada Humor, Cop Humor, Cute, Disturbing, Fairy Tale, Family Tragedy, Fantasy, Funny Horror, Funny Murder, Funny Noir, General Humor, Horror, Human Nature, Imagery, Jokes, Lifestyle, Literary, Mood, Murder, Murder Mystery, Mystery, Noir, Not As It Seems, Oddball, Offbeat, Outrageous, Parable, Police Lifestyle, Sardonic, Satire, Scary, Screwball, Slice of Life, Supernatural, Surprise Twists, Twisted, Whimsy, Witty, Zany

“His brain was trashed,” she said. “Excuse me?” was his response. “I don’t know how it happened, but his brain was trashed. You know, like a hotel room after a rock star’s attack of indigestion,” said Corina. “Wow! Any idea how it happened?” asked Chief Inspector Beige. “I’m pretty sure I answered that question.” Corina […]

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The Grief Machine

November 12th, 2011 · 3 Comments · Allegory or Fairy Tale, American Humor, British Comedy, British Humour, Canada Humor, Charming, Children and Pets, Clash of the Sexes, Cop Humor, Cute, Fairy Tale, Family Humor, Fantasy, Feel Good, Funny Dog, Funny Family, Funny Science Fiction, Funny Technology, Funny Workplace, General Humor, General Interest, Human Nature, Imagery, Irony, Jokes, Lifestyle, Not As It Seems, Oddball, Offbeat, Outrageous, Parable, Religious allegory, Romance, Sardonic, Satire, Science Fiction, Screwball, Seduction, Slice of Life, Surprise Twists, Twisted, Whimsy, Witty, Workplace, Zany

XaniaXYM-529’s attention was glued to one of thousands of monitors hooked up to the enormous rumbling machine that was focused on the planet a considerable distance away. He was luxuriating onboard his species’ most modern space station. From earth, the craft was hidden in the flotsam that made up Saturn’s ring. The giant device at […]

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